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Author Topic: gag gifts ideas  (Read 9890 times)

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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #20 on: July 07, 2011, 10:06:59 AM »

The Yard Stick is a stick
Attacj tag with this on it.

This is a yard stick.
I know this cause I found it in my yard.
You can do many things with this yard stick -
you can check to see how deep a mud puddle is...
 you can check to see how much gas is in the lawn mower...
You can play catch with dog with it...
you can even use it to start a fire.
You can use it for whatever you wish,
 just DON'T put it back in my yard!!!
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jollyquilter

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #21 on: July 07, 2011, 06:21:01 PM »

I need to find some turtles and put one in every room in my house.
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #22 on: July 08, 2011, 11:38:12 AM »

Manually Operated Hair Dryer

Put a balloon in a bag with instruction card that says

1. Inflate
2. Slowly release air near hair.
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cassBme

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #23 on: July 08, 2011, 09:14:28 PM »

LOL! I love these!

My BIL had to have a colostomy for awhile and when it was reversed I made him this gift.

I took a lunch size brown paper bag and printed with color markers "Hillbilly Get Well Gift" on the outside and placed a roll of soft fluffy toliet paper inside, then tied it off with some brown raffia. He and his surgeon LOVED it. Of course you need to know the recipent well enough that you know he or she will appreciate your sense of humor.
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #24 on: July 09, 2011, 12:04:25 PM »

Good one Cass
Here is one along the same lines.  :giggle

 A roll of toilet paper, with this saying on it..
(author unknown)

MERRY CHRISTMAS
Money is scarce and
Times are hard
So I'm giving you this
instead of a card
Christmas cards are a bit
of a farce
But this weill be handy
for wiping your arse.

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jollyquilter

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #25 on: July 09, 2011, 09:34:56 PM »

Oh my Chloe... :lol

I love the toilet paper one.

Just gotta do some of those!  :gclap2
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #26 on: July 09, 2011, 11:24:19 PM »

I used rd tissue paper as it was went around the T paper roll easier.
I also put a cardboard circle on top and bottom.
(not for any other reason but it looked better to me)
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #27 on: July 10, 2011, 09:59:00 AM »

Tie a heavy string around a rock.
tie the other end of the string to
a plastic curtain ring.

On tag print this on the front and on the back put "Instuctions: Hang outside"

WEATHER ROCK
I'm a weather-wise rock.
Accuracy Guaranteed!
If I'm moving, it's windy.
If I'm white, it's snowing.
If I'm icy, it's sleeting.
If I'm bouncing, it's hailing.
If I'm hot & dry, It's sunny.
If you can't see me, it's foggy.
If I'm gone, you've been ripped off!
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Rosesfirst

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #28 on: July 10, 2011, 01:16:11 PM »

Love this thread  :lol
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #29 on: July 12, 2011, 12:16:31 AM »

Put a label on the jar saying

A melted snow man

Take a mason jar or some sort of clear jar and put water in it.

Put in a carrot, a button and two small pieces of coal.

I prefer to use a piece of orange felt in place of the carrot
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #30 on: July 12, 2011, 09:05:08 AM »

Put some straw in a zip-loc bag
and attach a tag that reads

"Straw Hat -- Assembly Required"
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #31 on: July 13, 2011, 12:27:40 PM »

hillbilly flashlight

Glue a box of matches in the middle of a wooden paint stirrer
(with the word batteries on top of the box)
on the end of the paint stirrer glue a clothes pin.
put the end of the match in the clothes pin.
now you have a hillbilly flashlight.
( actually this works great to start fires in the fire place or
grill)
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #32 on: July 14, 2011, 05:17:06 AM »

I put some hair from a wig, or doll hair
 Put the hair and a bottle of glue into a little baggie.
Then put the following on the bag topper:

No need for a hat.
No need to be shy.
With this new Toupe',
You'll be a brand new guy!
(some assembly required)
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CountryLady

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #33 on: July 16, 2011, 12:53:32 AM »

:ROFL This thread is a HOOT~! :ty Chloe
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #34 on: July 17, 2011, 01:42:18 AM »

Bag This Idea

We are giving this bag as your Chistmas Gift,
Now do not get angry and do not be miffed.
Along with this gift are the top ten ways,
To use the bag through the holidays.


Number one is simple and easy you see,
Put a gift in the bag and send it to me.


Number two use some markers and stickers to dress it up nice,
Give to a neighbor filled with sweet smelling spice.


Number three with adult supervision required,
Put in sand and a candle and light when desired.


Number four is to tie it with twine on your tree,
Then you'll have an ornament to remind you of me.


Idea number five will help you stay slim,
For diets on Christmas are very grim.
Fill the bag with your faqvorite holiday snack,
Close up the top and give it a smack.
Then eat all you want and keep your attitude cool,
Broken treats have no calories and that is the rule.


Number Six (for tree huggers only)
Recycle this bag with your paper stacks,
And save a tree from getting the ax.


Number seven take the bag outside where it's cold,
Fill it with snow, use the bag as a mold.
Into the freezer the sack it will go,
Save till JUly, when your longing for snow.


Number eight fill the sack with can goods for the needy,
When you get to Heaven you won't look so greedy.


Number nine this bag is good for storing those leftover bows,
The reason you keep them, nobody knows.


Number Ten is to fill the bag with tinsel and confetti,
At the New Years Eve Party you will be ready.


I gave you my ideas to fill you with cheer,
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year


Author: Caralee Beers
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #35 on: July 18, 2011, 11:10:04 AM »

Hillbilly washer and dryer

 A tiny clothes pin and a metal washer
in a small baggie with a tag reading

"Washer and Dryer"
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #36 on: July 19, 2011, 11:36:33 AM »

This one is quite long but so cute for golfers.

Get a package of white seed beads.  Put in a box.
Outside of the box Print.
Golfa Balla
Print the instructions fold and put inside the box on top of the packet of beads

A vine or two will provide you with enough golf balla so you will never have to hunt for one
in the rough again and that is a pretty "fairway" to save time and Money
PLANTING INSTRUCTIONS:
Choose a smooth section of lawn.
The closely it resembles a green, the higher the quality of the balls produced.
Remove a divot of sod using either a 5 or 7 iron.
Use your putter to dig a hole about 6 inches deep - this gives new meaning to "puttering around in the yard..."
Put the seed into the hole,
Place a tall, thin pole on top of the seed as a trellis for the vine.
Use a triangular flag to number each pole.
If you try to grow over 18 plants at one time, they may not perform up to "par"!
If plants are over watered, the balls will be attracted to water hazards.

HARVESTING:
Your first crop should be ready for harvest in "roughly" 18 days.
When balls mature, the flag will fall over.
Carefully pull the vine out of the ground.
Under it, you should find a matched set of high quality golf balls.
After running them through a ball washer, they should suit you to a "tee".


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CountryLady

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #37 on: July 20, 2011, 12:44:16 AM »

HILARIOUS~! :ROFL

I bet some crafty individual could use a mix of rich colored beads
to do this kind of thing for POOL BALLS, too.  :ghurray2:
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chloe

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Re: gag gifts ideas
« Reply #38 on: July 21, 2011, 01:50:04 PM »

Clip a mini clothes pin on a penny
put in a bag with the topper --

"Penny Pincher"
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